Are you fighting an endless battle?

Credit: Ashtar Command Community www.ashtarcommandcrew.net
Credit: Ashtar Command Community www.ashtarcommandcrew.net

You’ve been fighting a battle for so long that at times, you forget what it is you are even fighting for or against. Standing your ground has left you weak and in need of rest. You stop for a moment yet are quickly on the move once again. You are afraid that fear and anxiety will consume you, stopping you from moving forward if you rest too long. So you find the courage and the strength to press on from somewhere deep inside your soul that you never knew existed. This is your battle and you are fighting it alone. 

As a child I fought a battle against being abused. I was young, scared and alone. Every struggle, every tear and every bruise was shed on the battlefield. Standing on my own left me feeling tired and tattered. In my mind I was, and would always be, a broken girl looking for my way out of the nightmare.
 
As an adult, I remained alone on the battlefield until someone unexpectedly came and stood next to me. Suddenly I had someone who loved and cared for me enough to fight my battle for me. He wanted to stand and protect me so that I could get some rest. 

Laying down and letting him fight for me wasn’t easy at first. For a short time I fought against him wanting to take a part in my fight. I was so use to being on the defensive with other people that I was unable to recognize a helping hand. It had only been myself on the battlefield for so long. I wasn’t sure someone else could fight as hard as I did. 

Eventually I learned that he was on my side, that he believed in me enough to protect me from a world that was beating me down. He knew that I was becoming weary from my battle and in desperate need of feeling safe and protected. I stopped fighting against him and found tremendous relief in knowing that from this point on someone would always have my back. 

Some people viewed this as a sign of weakness on my part. That he was doing too much and I simply wasn’t doing enough for my own life. This couldn’t be further from the truth! The simple act of having him beside me on the battlefield made me stronger! 

When faced with a challenge you have to fight with everything you have and when you become too tired to fight, lay down, rest and let others fight for you. Let those you trust continue your fight while you rest and recharge. When you are ready to fight, simply stand up and take part in the battle once again. 

Are you fighting with everything you have? Do you have others that are willing to fight your battle while you get some rest? If you do, you are truly blessed. If you don’t, well then get in touch with me. I will gladly pick up a sword and helmet and join you on the battlefield. No one should ever have to fight a battle alone! 

2 thoughts on “Are you fighting an endless battle?

  1. marquis (female) says:

    Great blog! I am still in an endless battle at almost 29 yrs old. I am still struggling to leave yet I don’t have enough funds yet and waiting for someone who needs a roommate as she is having big probs trying to throw her roomie out. My boyfriend has been with me for a long time seeing me suffer for so long and has been a great listening ear unlike a lot of people out there.

    I don’t have any place to go and not going to a shelter. I am the youngest, been fighting this battle all by myself as it seemed to be easy for my siblings to move on. I’ve had my crying days and have sunken back into depression again! When is this gonna end?!? I live with the abuse and constant bullying daily which does nothing for me. I have made some changes but not 100% can’t do that while still living with them. I am just so exhausted by this crap…nobody else out there is helping me I feel nobody should put their nose in my biz if they are not gonna go extra mile to help me. All of this constant complaining towards me isn’t doing me any good….

    • Aprel Phelps Downey says:

      Hello Marquis,

      I want you to try and take things one day at a time. This is something that I often have to do because focusing on the bigger picture at one time can be very overwhelming! Each morning pick one thing that you can accomplish that day that will help you move one step closer to your goal. For instance tomorrow you can place $10 in an envelope or bank account that can go towards the total amount of money you feel you need to comfortably move out. From that point on whenever you have some extra money on hand (even if it’s only a few dollars) continue putting into that same envelope or bank account. Each step like this will get you one step closer to having the financial means to move out on your own.

      By breaking the bigger picture of moving out into smaller pieces, you will find it more manageable and gain self-esteem in the process because you are working towards a goal of yours. It will help with your depression and exhaustion because you will start to feel accomplished, like you are making a difference in your world. In time, you will be well on your way to a better life.

      Hang in there my friend!
      ~Aprel

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